Square One

This whole moving thing has been an anxiety sundae with uncertainty sauce. I'm allergic to anxiety sundaes it turns out. Also, far more superstitious than I would have believed. I think, from now on, I'm just going to stop talking about stuff until it happens. Yeah, right, Jen. Ya gonna duct tape that big mouth of yours shut?

Wait, I bet that would help me lose weight as well...

We've known we were going to move for about a year now. A smart woman would have sat on that information, at least until things were really underway. As I have previously established, I am not, in any way shape or form, smart. I say this because when you say you're going to move, people start asking questions. This is a natural human response. And for almost a year, I've had NO news to report. Other than, "we found an awesome house on Metrolist."

Oh, Metrolist. You are like eHarmony, promising happily ever after and delivering a fat dude with anger management problems and cheeseburgers in his pockets. I want to quit you, but I can't. I foresee myself, even after we are all moved, checking your offerings, seeing what's out there, just so I can be a smidge discontent wherever I wind up.

When you've been waiting to look for so long, you get impatient. You fall in love with the first thing you see, because OH MY GOD! It's a HOUSE! With four walls and a floor and it's new to me! So I LOVE IT! I love it so much I want to have its babies, even though it's got a damned galley kitchen and only three bedrooms! I'm actually walking through a house that isn't my own and after months of being secretly afraid this day would never come, it HAS!!! Let me propose marriage to this house!

Never propose on the first date. It is very bad manners. Also, you'll get rejected. And that will be a good thing.

We're officially looking at houses and I promise not to fall in love with the first house I see this go-round. I promise to hold out for a house I love. I promise to listen to my agent. And this time, when we've made an offer, I'm NOT going to jinx it by blurting that little factoid out to people in casual conversation. I'm going to hold this in my heart, until I know we have that house, even if I have to take a Facebook sabbatical.

Square one is simply a fresh start.